Gay Andy

August 23, 2010

Does Masturbation Cause Pimples?

Filed under: Uncategorized — gayandy @ 1:45 pm


My friend has recently discovered the joys of wanking. And along with his new found pleasurable pastime is the sudden appearance of the dreaded pimples. His face once as smooth as a babies butt, is now looking more like the snow covered alps landscape with juicy white pimples just begging to be popped. I not being a daily wanker have a face that’s smooth to the touch, radiantly free and clear of any signs of the teenage curse known as pimples.
But on the other hand (no pun intended) my friend has developed raw blisters on his hand from the rapid firing of his love gun. I’ve heard stories that eating pizza causes pimples. That eating chocolate causes pimples, that wanking causes pimples, that hair grows on the palm with frequent wankings, and last but not least wanking will cause me to need glasses by the time I’m 20 years old. All these anti-wanking warnings takes the joy out of wanking and leaves me with a limp feeling.

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8 Comments »

  1. I don't know the answer to your question. You are mighty lucky to have escaped the zit curse so far. I hope this continues for you.

    Comment by Brian — August 22, 2010 @ 9:25 am | Reply

  2. Stuff like hair on palms,vision loss,and pimples(never heard that one)are rumors.If that was all true I'd have to be shaving my palms everyday,wear glasses,and not have a clean spot on my face.Blisters on the other hand can happen.

    Comment by SafaiaKame — August 22, 2010 @ 2:16 pm | Reply

  3. Wank to your heart's content cos they are all myths. It's just that the appearance of acne coincides with puberty and the huge increase in testosterone. But the guys who get acne have a genetic propensity for it and anything that stimulates testosterone production will make it worse. (Guys who take steroids sometimes have acne problems) Note that girls also have acne problems (even more devastating for them) so don't blame testosterone entirely. It is a genetic tendency to have overactive sebaceous (oily) glands in the skin which causes bacteria to inflame the skin. On the other hand, oily skin is healthier skin cos dry skin leads to premature wrinkling. Mild to moderate cases can be controlled with over-the-counter treatments, but the more severe and persistent cases need long-term antibiotics or Accutane (which is the only one-time treatment that actually clears it up for good) Acne in teens is not to be taken lightly; it can cause scarring and is devastating to the self esteem and psychological well-being. (in high school walking around under those flourescent lights makes acne look even worse!) So it is indeed heart-breaking for teens, who are supposed to look beautiful at this time in their lives, to have their looks ruined by this curse; to feel like a leper among your peers. I would advise any teen with a severe or persistent case of acne to be under a dermatologist's care to keep it under control and prevent damage. -Anyway wank 3 times a day if you like; if masturbation makes you go blind then every teen boy would be using a white cane lol. bfn – Wayne 🙂

    Comment by wayner — August 22, 2010 @ 2:39 pm | Reply

  4. Geezzz… well, that explains an awful lot, kid!! Of course, I never needed glasses till I turned 45… Don't understand that!! For a while, I thought buying stock in Scott's Paper Company would have been a great investment, based on my use of that wonderfully soft product…lol Even if it really did create all those problems, I don't think that could have stopped me… it's just, too much, innocent fun!! lol luv, tman<3

    Comment by tman — August 22, 2010 @ 2:56 pm | Reply

  5. I mean I guess it depends who you listen to. I know that I've heard from a doctor on a radio show that the blindness thing is just a myth. Its true that your blood pressure goes real high at orgasm which is why you want to close your eyes, etc.The pimples thing is probably real, because masturbation does cause testosterone levels to get high. i.e. people that masturbate more frequently have high testosterone levels, which can make pimples more frequent.But eh…who knows.Steve

    Comment by Planetx_123 — August 22, 2010 @ 3:31 pm | Reply

  6. Hey Andy,Wank away! Wank Away! Wanking causing pimples, blindness, hair on your hands are all myths. You guys are lucky. You don't have a Jesuit priest (I talked about him in my previous post.) in your lives who took away the joys and pleasures of wanking. He warned us not to abuse our dangling participles. It was unGodly and it was a sin. My joker classmate wondered aloud, so that was why he could never aced his essays, he'd avoid using dangling participle next time. lol. My serious classmate said, you dummy, he was talking about your dick. The Jesuit said we had to release it as nature intended, through nocturnal emission. We all agreed that the Jesuit's beddings were stickier and more dirty than ours. The Jesuit even affected us in our wanking contest. One guy would suddenly stop thinking it was a sin. He was immediately eliminated from the contest. Big prizes were awarded to the winner. One winner flipped the sperm that got on his hand. It swirled around the wire suspending his curtains. He said that could have been a champion trapeze artist. lol. He was given extra money for that remark. We wanted to take the extra money back after realizing that it was an old joke. Too late. He already spent it!!! Recent studies show that releasing sperm, by having sex or through wanking, clears the sinus and improves circulation. So I told my uncle (he's my hero) to have sex more ofen. His girlfriend consider those studies as delightful and wonderful. She considers wanking as a betrayal!!! More recent studies show (Not yet conclusive, but hey, we must take everything that is encouraging and enabling.) that having sex and wanking prevents prostate cancer. To the older and old ones, this is an enabling act for you. To the young ones (although you may not yet have a prostate, ROFL), this is also an enabling act for you. Early prevention is better than a cure. An incontrovertible fact. A MUST DO: Always use condoms. Wash your hands before wanking. You don't want to give your dangling participle a serious infection. I always wash my hands before touching my dangling participle. It is cleaner than the faucets and the doorknobs in public toilets and whatever other stuffs that I've touched previously. Andy, since you are good in music, please put up a tune that is conducive to wanking. Caesar Augustus P.S. To the young ones who have not yet studied government, an enabling act is a law that permits acts, organizing entities, giving franchises to private enteprises, etc. A law that permits Gay Marriage is an enabling act. Caesar Augustus

    Comment by Anonymous — August 22, 2010 @ 8:17 pm | Reply

  7. Hey David. I loved this post. Your humor is quite dry. At first I thought you were serious, but as it continued it got more and more funny. I appreciate the laughter very much. Many hugs and much warm thoughts.Scottie

    Comment by scottiestoybox.com — August 22, 2010 @ 10:58 pm | Reply

  8. i am 46 yo; i have glasses becasue i'm near-sighted and have had them for since childhood.i can still get acne, but not so much on my face anymore and no hair on my palms. some foods might help make acne worse, but as far as i've been told, it doesn't CAUSE it.AND i can agree with C.A. – wank away.the only problem i can think of; if it's easier to get off wanking than with a partner, you might have cause for concern.i so love your blog, i'll keep reading it for as long as god (goddess, gods, ect.) allows.

    Comment by Anonymous — August 24, 2010 @ 7:33 pm | Reply


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