Gay Andy

April 5, 2010

To my friend Andy from RiK3

Filed under: Uncategorized — gayandy @ 4:24 pm


It’s monday. One more week and it’s back to school. 😦 that sucsk. But andy has a way of making it seem better. I told him that school starts agin in one week from today. He said to me which is better? School starting today, or school starting in another week? I didn’t think of it that way before. He’s right it’s better thinking of it as we’ve got a whole other week of sping break. I need to clear some stuff up here in me and andys blog. First of all i’m andys friend. We’ve been fiends since we were something like 9 or 10 years old. But theres certain invisible boundries that defines our friendship. Theres certain things that me and him just dont talk about. And one of those boundaries is my sex life. I know andys gay, i mean the whole fcuking town knows andys gay. But we dont make a big thing about it. He is who he is and thats cool with me. I’ve learned a lot from andy just wathcing how cool he is with who he is. If it bothers him bing gay he doesnt show it at all. My only wish is that i could be as comfy with who i am as andy is with who he is. Im still trying to figure out who or what i am. I know andy uses our blog as his way of telling you how hes feeling with all the drama that goes on between Lance me and Andy. I need to say that what happened last night was dumb. Andy was pushing buttons on Lance that he shouldnt have been doing to him. How would andy feel if Lance did the same thing to him? Can you understand what i’m saying here? Andy hurt lance. I know that andy is protective of our friendship. I really like that about him. I couldn’t have a better friend than andy. But he needs to understand that i can have other friends in my life too. Andys told me how much he loves me and cares about me. He doesnt really need to keep telling me that he loves me, because i can tell he loves me just from what he does. Andy will always be a special friend to me. And thats cool.

I sometimes wish andy would be more private about my sex life and stop telling the whole world about me. I really dont like that he’s doing that to me. But like i already said andy uses our blog to vent his feelings and when i read what he says i understand where hes coming from. I think hes afriad of loosing me to Lance. Well andy i know you’re going to read this sometime today and so heres what i have to say to you. I’ve said this to you already but maybe reading it will help you understand what i’m saying here in our blog is how i truly feel about you. Youre like a broher to me. A brother that i never had. Somebody i can tell my deepest secrets too. You know about the struggles in my past. My dad is dead and my mom whores herself out and i finally ran away and lived on the streets for a couple of years until my grandma took me in her house. You know how i feel. The hurt and anger that lives inside me. But you andy still care about me even with the pimples of my life. You have a special place in my heart, and you always will. I think your jealous because of me and Lance. Please dont think that Lance can ever replace you because he cant and he won’t. Lance is only something that i’m using right now to help me explore who i am in ways that you and me andy can’t do. I wont let you do it because your friendship means to much to me. Do you understand what i’m trying to say to you? Lance will never replace you. He’s just a toy that i’m playing with today and when it breaks it gets thrown away. I know that sounds cruel and it probably is but its also a fact of life. People use people all the time. I know it becuase i’ve lived it when i was living on the streets. Theres no love on the streets, Only people using people as a way of surviving. You’ve seen me and lance kissing. You saw us kissing last night. And i do love him, right now. But a month from now? Who knows? This is what makes our friendship between you and me andy so special and so different. I know that a month from now you and me will still be speical friends. I can’t say that about me and Lance. I know that a year from now me and you will still be friends someone who i can lean on when times are tough. Can you see what I’m saying andy? You are my true friend and you always will be my real friend no matter how many girls or guys come and go in my life, you will always be the one friend for me.

Luv, RiK3

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5 Comments »

  1. Hi Rik3, Thats a great Letter!!!!!, Thanks from me Dean clearing up whats be going on I am some what new on this blog, Hugs Dean

    Comment by Anonymous — April 5, 2010 @ 5:31 pm | Reply

  2. Hi Again OOOO great video good try on singing. Hugs Dean

    Comment by Anonymous — April 5, 2010 @ 5:37 pm | Reply

  3. The one I feel the most for is Lance. Andy treats him like shit and calls him a B and a slut and whatever. Rike just uses him for the sex and admits it. And Lance lets himself be used, probably because he doesn't have enough self-esteem and self respect. And does anybody *really* love any of the others? Nope. They're all thinking about themselves. I'm not even sure they know how think selflessly. It's sad, really.

    Comment by Anonymous — April 5, 2010 @ 6:25 pm | Reply

  4. Hi Rike. I understand that you think that sex might ruin your friendship with Andy. But using the street thing as an excuse for using people sexually doesn't cut it. What goes around comes around eventually. If Lance is your boyfriend then treat him with the respect he deserves and you will feel good inside when you go to sleep. You have found love with your boyfriend and Andy so wtf does that have to do with the street? Using the street attitude to justify using people just debases yourself. If you want dignity, you must always treat others with respect. Sometimes you don't know what you have until you lose it. Don't lose it. Lance is a good guy who has his struggle with sexuality too, and he is one brave guy. So can't you fix up Andy with a boyfriend? That's the best way to get him off Lance's case. (hope Andy doesn't delete me! lol) And Rike, don't let your obvious intelligence go to waste; school isn't something horrible to avoid. The more you avoid it, the harder it gets. Jump into school with both feet, dig at it, focus on learning everything you hear. If you don't understand something study it until you do; ask Andy etc. The more time you spend on it, the easier it gets. During exam week, forget your social life; it is a week of studying and nothing else. It is just a week and it will pay off big. THINK LONG-TERM! Put that street crap into the past and have pride in yourself and be loyal to your boyfriend and friends; you know the way. bfn – Wayne 🙂

    Comment by wayner — April 5, 2010 @ 8:59 pm | Reply

  5. I can picture Andy when he reads Rike's letter. I picture him thinking OMG OMG OMG. I hurt my Rike. I believe he really loves you, Rike.About love. I don't think it can be explained definitively. I think the apostle Paul does a pretty good job in I Cor. 13. If fact it's called the love chapter.But the only way you understand love is if you've loved.It can't be explained. You feel love in a different part of phyche. If you felt love in your soul – mind, will and emotions – (Freud called it your ego), it might be easy to understand. But love is from your spirit -conscience – (Freud: super ego) Freud is sometimes called the father of phsychology. When I learned this principle, things became a lot clearer to me.I know love because I've loved and been loved. I don't even try to explain it anymore"faith, hope and love, these three, but the greatest of these is love." Paul

    Comment by Anonymous — April 5, 2010 @ 9:22 pm | Reply


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